I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize