some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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