there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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