i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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