if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
