he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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