She's like a pop up book from hell.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
