At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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