I heard we made out
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
