Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
