Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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