Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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