Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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