You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
