Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
