Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
