I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize