it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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