normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
