farters have to be the big spoon...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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