So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Rumble strips road head = magical
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
