i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
