Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im holly from the hills drunk
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
