Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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