she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's official drugs can't kill me
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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