I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize