What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
