we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize