Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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