The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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