I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
