you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
