The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm like, not good at living.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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