im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
where am i from again
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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