Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
