I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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