there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My bed smells like the plague
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
