The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
