Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
