So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
