Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i will never coherently bang her
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
