This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
