Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
