I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
