My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
His hands were made for my vagina.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize