I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
