butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
