help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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