The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
