Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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