Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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