My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
