I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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