so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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