I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
