Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
