I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
