I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
