i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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