Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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