your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
