Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
