she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
