Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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