I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
